is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
