The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
