Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
did i just pee glitter
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
