I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
