Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize