Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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