there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
no. you can't hotbox the world.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
