saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sext me about skeletons
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
