we have officially lost it.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
