Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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