i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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