I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Barsexuality is the new black.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
