i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
