is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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