I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
