went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i think im in europe. pls send help
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
