We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
