dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
