I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I will be naked everywhere
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
