Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
