I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
