do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
