i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
ugly people sure do ruin things
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
