Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
