I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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