I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
