...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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