ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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