Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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