dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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