Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
