your parents love me but you hate me
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
