Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize