No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
