The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i've created a new STD.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize