I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize