That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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