Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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