I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
