I like my sex mixed with concussions.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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