Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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