Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
