My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
