i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
