I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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