i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
They took my balls.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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