i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
