areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
