I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
PANTIES FOUND
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