this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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