Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
