Don't make out with my wife yet
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
