I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize