apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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