i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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