i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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