I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize